Advice

"Don't take criticism from people you wouldn't take advice from."

It sounds obvious, doesn't it? Yet many of us still let other people's opinions, judgments, and expectations shape our actions and beliefs. I've certainly done it—letting negativity from people I see as influential creep into my thinking, even when their advice isn’t aligned with my goals.

Too often we hold back our potential by conforming to others' views of what our lives should look like. We're taught as kids to follow a safe, conventional path: university, steady job, mortgage. All good things, but how many of might us might dream of more? How many of us feel a calling beyond the routine?

Many times in my life, when making a decision to move out of my comfort zone to do something new (maybe something beyond routine, something risky but possibly an opportunity for the extraordinary), there always seemed to be a naysayer to discourage me—and it was rarely anybody that I would normally take advice from in the first place. Still, when we're young we may openly share about a possibility or opportunity that we're excited about, only to be left deflated by who we shared it with. So I learned years ago, and I am telling you here and now: listening to critics who weren't already passionate supporter of your success is a waste of time. Their opinion isn't worth anything if they weren't already in a space of mentorship and support.

Here are my straightforward pointers of real advice on protecting your mindset and goals. I use these pointers to stay focused on what truly matters—my family, my clients or employers, and myself:

• Surround yourself only with people who lift you higher and challenge you constructively, coming from genuine care and respect.

• Minimize time and interactions with those who tend to discourage your ambitions and dreams.

• Completely remove and avoid people from your professional life who speak poorly of others behind their backs. If they do it to someone else, they'll do it to you. And they aren't ever coming from a place of respect.

Be intentional about guarding your mindset—it's your most valuable asset. Don’t let anyone in who doesn’t genuinely support you (or people without wisdom or capability to provide constructive candor and support) advise you, or criticize you. If somebody that you literally wouldn't trade places with is trying to give you advice: don't take that advice*.